Gammer Gurton's Needle

As Gammer Gurton with many a wide stitch Sat piecing and patching of Hodge her man’s breech, By chance or misfortune, as she her gear toss’d, In Hodge’s leather breeches her needle she lost. When Diccon the Bedlam had heard by report That good Gammer Gurton was robbed in this sort, He quietly persuaded with her in that stound Dame Chat, her dear gossip, this needle had found; Yet knew she no more of this matter, alas! Than knoweth Tom, our clerk, what the priest saith at mass. Hereof there ensued so fearful a fray, Mas. Doctor was sent for, these gossips to stay, Because he was curate, and esteemed full wise; Who found that he sought not, by Diccon’s device. When all things were tumbled and clean out of fashion, Whether it were by fortune, or some other constellation, Suddenly the needle Hodge found by the pricking. And drew it out of his buttock, where he felt it sticking. Their hearts then at rest with perfect security, With a pot of good ale they struck up their plaudity.